The Night Mi Amor Took Control!!

  Do not be misled by the title. Mi Amor has been in control from day 1. I have watched her grow in her role as my keyholder and disciplinarian. Day by day in fact. She has never really been "soft" since the day I approached her about considering this lifestyle.
   I have been quick to share info with her and ideas I would have. She appreciates the info and reads many of the articles I suggest. What I didn't realize that I was in some small way "topping from the bottom" with my requests and ideas. This all came to a head that nearly ended our journey. However it has ended up strengthening it and elevating the power Mi Amor is now wielding over me.
  This is what happened that dreadful/enlightening night:
  It was just after Christmas. I had the massage table set up and Mi Amor had showered and was ready for lotion and a long rubdown. It had been about 10 days since I had received any relief and I was horny as hell.
  I had massaged her at least an hour when she had me remove my cage. I was told to go down on her and I did so without hesitation. Then Came the game changing moment!
  Mi Amor asked if there were condoms in the drawer we keep our play things in. I told her yes there were some (we do not need birth control, these are for cock control). She then instructed me to put one on as she had something to do in the morning and wanted to feel clean after just showering.
  That is when I made a terrible error. I told her I would prefer to not wear one and I would "clean her up" afterwards. She allowed me to proceed but I could tell that there was a problem. I entered her, climaxed and cleaned her up. She however did not finish. And her mood was not good!!
  She got dressed and told me that she didn't think this was going to work if I just did what I wanted anyway. Maybe it's not for us, that I really wasn't serious about a flr/dd relationship. I was stunned. There was no way I wanted her to stop. I was reeling from it.
  In the morning I knelt at her bedside and begged her not to give up. She gave it some thought and told me there would be a lengthy and hard punishment ahead to get through this but she was willing to continue. She informed that what I did was top from the bottom and were going to see to it that doesn't happen again. I sensed then that she was taking her power position up a few levels after this ordeal.
  The next 18 days went like this..... I was caged 24/7 as usual. She began changing her clothes in her closet, not allowing me to gaze upon her at all.....  All massages were done with a short pj bottom on at all times, no being able to see her treasure.....  I was edged after 10 days for "excercise" for my cock..... I was given a very severe paddling that was the start of her discipline sessions now requiring a ball gag due to my yelps and cries (that is every session now)..... I was not allowed to pleasure her, more on that to come...... I was allowed to masturbate in front of her after 18 days.....  Then when I thought we had worked through things I found out she was just starting.
  The next 23 days would change my habits for sure.... I was edged 3 times in that span... I was allowed to massage her while nude (sometimes) to tease me..... I was still not allowed to go down on her....  I was given several paddling sessions that were very hard (along with stern talk about topping from the bottom).... We became sick during this stretch so our recovery time was going to be part of this stretch. She said she felt bad this came up, but I could deal with it. I asked for this.
  Finally after 23 days I was going to be allowed relief. Believe me, I was not about to ask how I would be allowed relief, I was broken. She did allow me to enter her and we exploded together. It was amazing to be allowed to enjoy her and see her get off too.
  What did I learn? Keep my mouth shut and do what I am told. She is my wife/keyholder and disciplinarian. Mi amor made it clear she was in complete control and I would know that any fuck ups will cost me.
  I also realized my selfishness in that one act.... Maybe she really didn't care about feeling clean that night but really wanted to show more power over me and I ruined it. She may have been so turned on to do it that she would have had a great orgasm or 2. And I ruined it thinking about what I wanted.....      Also the fact that she denied herself any pleasure that whole time was eye opening. Never had me go down on her, no vibrator play, no self gratification. I understood she was serious. I felt like crap that she denied herself to see to it I got the message. 
   I have since been obedient to every beck and call. I thank her for the continued severe paddlings that keep me thinking clear about what I am to do for her. I try to listen intently to what she says so as not to get her mad about that. I make it a point to not talk to soon, though we are going to deal with recent incident of that soon.
  I know it has been tougher for me since that event, but I also know that Mi Amor is in this for the long run now. She is not letting up on me for anything. And I now ask if it is okay to even suggest a thing.